Props: EOnline.com
Quoteworthy:
“Retired porn star Jenna Jameson gave birth to two little boys Monday morning. These are the first children for 43-year-old Jameson and her boyfriend of two years, UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, 33, and they are said to be in ‘very good health.’”
Congrats to the happy parents on their mini cagefighters. While the dynamic duo will more than likely not see the inside of an Octagon anytime soon (if ever as long as Dana White is still UFC president, anyway), Daddy Ortiz is coming off successful back surgery and has hinted about a possible return later this year. Perhaps sooner rather than later now that he has two more mouths to feed. “The Huntington Beach Bad Boy” is still a free agent and has not found a new promotion to call home since his last fight (a unanimous decision loss) to current number one 205-pound contender, Lyoto Machida, at UFC 84: “Ill Will” back in May 2008.
103 Comments »
Hope he turns his boys into mma fighters.
Why so they can demand for ridiculous purses without having a decent win in 5 years. Also she’s 43? that’s kind of a surprise.
Jenna is born in 1974..
that would mean she is 35 then? whered mania get 43 from?
If ever there was a Vagina to bear Ortiz’s big headed babies, she’s it. Maybe that’s why he fell in love with her.
Evidently the first children to ever walk out of a vagina
Brendan, they probably meant 34 (eventually 35 later in 2009) but accidentally wrote 43.
Danza, “walk out of a vagina” LOL!
If you got it from wikipedia, it’s probably inaccurate.
LOL. Freddy that too funny!
or not haha, she had surgery on her vagina. she is also 34
the world just got a whole lot worse!
LOL!
sorry Rob, cmon guys, we should all realize that she had surgery on that manhole some call a vagina! It’s now tighter than a frogs ass, the kids actually came out with flattened heads. Do you sense the sarcasm?
I heard she was walking at the mall alone one second, the next second, two kids fell from under her skirt!
lmao
I would imagine the babies experience was pretty similar to riding the rocket slide at Wet n’ Wild.
On a side note, I am sure that going to high school will be a very pleasant experience for the children of the most famous pornstar of all time.
Jenna has two beeeeautiful little twin boys, Jesse and Journey. Congrats to her, she has been dreaming of this day for a long time! I LOVE YOU, JENNA!!!
~Kariii
Feel sorry for the boys… growing up knowing what their Mama did LOL
lmfao shitt!
i would still feel bad look at the dad
Imagine you grew up with those boys…. You’d definitely be over their house playing playstation every night of the week just to get some good material so you can go home and pull your dick.
Could you imagine pushing a Tito baby heads? She’s gonna be even more loose now.
they probably just fell right out.
Probably had room to twirl a cane as they strolled right on through.
SHE SIT ON HER AZZ TO KEEP THEM FROM FALLING OUT LMAO…………I DO LOVE P—Y BUT I NEVER HAD A DSIRE TO GO IN THE ABYSS………..
as if her vagina needed to be streched any more
good one
LOL
Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway…
i love using that line, always makes ppl laugh the first time they hear it
riding a bicycle into an airplane hangar
Waving a pen in the Albert Hall
a tooth pick in a volcano
feeding a tic tac to a whale
Throwing a straw through a basketball hoop.
I look like a complete idiot at Starbucks right now, laughing so hard I’m shaking the table.
43??? I bet she popped em out at the same time!
ACTUALLY I HEARD THEY WERE WEARING ROLLER SKATES……………
i heard the babies came out at the exact same time~
wow~ that is one loose goose if u ask me!..
Say word – for big bird!
grow up kids…
you could probably make five hundred dirty jokes out of this story, and i cant wait to hear em lol
If one of them is a girl, and she inherits her mother’s breasts and her father’s legs, it could be many years before she is able to walk.
If she inherits her mother’s breast, that means she will have to wait for Jenna to die, and then be given the implants.
Would still love to put one through her.
dude, your gross.
She’d rock your world Mike.
I never liked Jenna that much. Jesse Jane is pretty hot though.
I guess thats not the first time two guys have been inside her.
No, but it’s the first time they weren’t paid to be in there.
lmao
lol!!!!!!
Wow…
that was the best so far.
niiiiiiiice!
DOH!!!!! LMAO
Whats the problem? Who cares what she did, hell you probably jacked off watching her. Like him or hate him you still watched him. And how can anyone dog the birth of any child?
It’s easy. You just point and laugh. Like the kids laughed at you while you were being stuffed upside-down into your locker.
OK JJ just because you were locked inside your locker don’t mean everyone was. I’m sorry you were picked on but get over it.
lol Ithink this will be a blessing for Tito, he was alway’s a me first guy, trust me kids will change that unless you aren’t a good father but as cocky and stubborn as he is he is very passianate and will do his best to be a good parent and better man for it. If he and Jenna are happy good for them.
He already had a kids prior to this with another woman no??
yes i do.
Jeremy Jackson i chuckled at that one lmao
oh boy, here we go again…great response jeremyjackson!
these two kids will be great fighters. They have to be there dad is tito and there mom is well that is another reason they will be tough
I heard she went in to deliver at 9am PST today. She was out and smoking a cigarette by 9:05 am PST. Apparently Tito is selling both of the kids at his Punishment Athletics store to break even for the month.
Leave the kids out of it you immature f—-. Dog Tito even though you watched all of his fights and dog Jenna even though you watched all her films but leave the kids out of it. How can you talk shit about kids that have done nothing to you? Grow up! Become a father then imagine someone using your child as a joke.
Wow, that was quite the sermon dad.
Now get out of the way, one of Tito’s kids just knocked out Ken Shamrock.
And whats sad is Tito’s kid could knock your a!! out.
And yes I’m a Dad and I would not want anyone talking trash about my kids how about you?
I would understand that the internet is a place where opinions and jokes are shared, and I will not find all of them amusing.
I would in turn realize that parading a retarded prostitute around in public is gonna earn me some wisecracks. Actually procreating with said hooker… fuggetaboudit.
And not to worry Vette… nothing you accomplish will ever earn you even the slightest notice, so your kids will undoubtedly remain out of the public eye until you are arrested for child porn.
Thanks for saying what I wanted to say better than I could!
I am saying to keep the kids out of your jokes and you want to call me that, you can go f— yourself.
You are a real piece of sh–.
I laughed!
Vette, we all appreciate that you are a good, serious dad. I don’t think anyone here has any ill-will toward either the kids or the parents–I hope they all live long, happy, prosperous lives.
That said, they’re public (very public) figures so I don’t have any problem making jokes about Jenna and Tito. If people can make fun of a president with a Harvard MBA for his intellect, then I don’t think joking a fighter with a big head or a old porn star is over the top.
it is so Bob, and tito and Jenna are way smarter than the president and better business people too!
JJ, you’re wrong on that, Shamrock was slated to fight one of Ortiz’s kids, but he twisted his ankle in warm-ups before the fight and had to back out. Replacement yet to be named.
Congrats to them. Hope mom and babies are well.
God bless. War Tito
I would check the kids for STD’S. That skank had everyone discovered so far.
If I was Jacob (isn’t that Tito’s real first name??) take her to the Maury Show?
I bet Ken Shamrock helped out their…you guys no old big head tata started calling sharock ………mr.shamcock roflmao
WAR MINI TITOS
haha hell yeah.
Mini Titos sounds like a snack food or something you get at Taco Bell…
I juss ordered some.
I new Tito would end up sellin ‘em.
The tito twins nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Menopause mom regurgitating mini titos? dos Titos. Whatever…
Well, now he can attack her anus while her pee pee heals. It’s probably tighter anyway.
I bet they just walked out twirlin a cane.
best joke on thread ^^
When you start making fun of little babies its not funny…hehe it kinda is though.
I bet he’s gonna teach them to say!
“Dana White Is My B***H!”
I love these message boards. It’s like watching a car accident involving someone you hate. The level of discourse and every single message falls into one the following categories:
1. War (someone)
2. Someone is shit (as a fighter, person etc)
3. Someone was robbed.
4. Someone is indestructible.
5. Talking shit about another poster (whom you’ve never met and know nothing about)
6. Junior high school level humour.
7. Elementary school level thought and writing.
8. Or all of the above.
It really shouldn’t be called “Mixed Martial Arts”- it should be killed “Ass-kicking in a chicken wire cage”. Martial Arts (real martial arts) is about a lot more than techniques. Real martial artists have a healthy respect for their opponents and everyone in the world. They have compassion, determination, skill, and discipline.
Don’t act like “MMA” deserves respect from martial artists because it doesn’t. It’s to martial arts what the WWE is to real wrestling.
Don’t bother responding, I’m done with this site and you all.
wow, I can’t get that 90 seconds back! I saw the numbers and thought it was a list of Jenna/Tito jokes. damn.
.
here’s one though:
I heard these two boys are already the smartest and best businessmen in the nursery!
No kidding, the twins are already robbing the other babies blind, demanding outrageous fees for second class talent, selling tickets to mommies next movie set.
You sound smart and well spoken. You don’t belong here! This board is for children, dudes like me who act like children, and nuthuggers. I love this board.
Whoa, it must get dizzy up there on a pedestal. Pardon us heathens for our enjoyment of MMA (and Tito).
Ah it’s no $herdog in all fairness.
Don’t get your vajina caught in the door on the way out!
I knew as soon as I read the headline that I was in for a whole bunch of large vagina jokes. No doubt, worth the read. But I wouldn’t give a shit, I’d hit that in a sec. I’d be like “I heard it was loosey goosey but it feels pretty tight to me. Jenna would be like “wrong hole fool”. And I’d be like “feels alright to me”.
Tito is not a UFC fighter!!! Just thought I would clear that up!!!
There’s nothing wrong with heckling Tito’s freaks. It will be at least nine years before Ortiz’ kids are able to read a Garfield comic. So there’s not much chance this is going to hurt their feelings.
If I went to school with those kids, I’d definitely hand them a porno with their Mum in it.
Those were some of the best jokes I’ve ever heard. I was in tears from laughing so hard reading them all. U guys rock except for the idiots that were on there pedastools looking down on us. We don’t want them on this site!