This poor kid obviously thought he scripted something brilliant and comedic. He probably even thought that one or two part-time posters on here would find it hilarious and applaud his witty post with an ‘LOL’ or ‘…that was f’in hilarious, bro’.

Not here, Dayvet. We don’t dole out approval for attempts at being funny or clever to simply anyone. I’m sure you knock ‘em dead at Christmas parties, and your friends most likely think your sharp wit and scathing observations are what you a big winner.

Most of us, especially myself, are full-time blog predators who simply scour our cherished forums in search of morons who know close to nothing of the sport, proceed to coldly (and with calculated bitterness) shit directly on them and their crap opinion, and vanish back into the anonymity of cyberspace. But we also moonlight as MMA curmudgeons, singling out those few scattered bloggers who clearly thought they would validate their poor self-esteem by penning some letter to some douche who’ll never read it, the found it so incredibly humorous that they RE-TYPED it at MMA Mania before they sacked out for the night, barely catching a wink of sleep in anticipation of the mountain of accolades and compliments that would be waiting for them to read before catching the schoolbus the following morning, their face beaming with pride.

But they got this instead. Damn.

Kidding, Dayvet, only kidding. It wasn’t bad, liked the shit about the jumpsuits…

The lesson for future promoters should be that gimmicks (big, scary-guy-from-the-hood or cute-centerfold-female-fighter) do not work. You build your promotion gradually around a group of solid fighters who already have credentials. You don’t build it around novice fighters who have merely a certain look or sex appeal. Everyone should be able to understand that now.