war machine

“SO in case you didn’t notice in my last fight the UFC did NOT use my nickname when I fought. Turns out some gay ass wrestling federation threatened to sue them because they recently named one of their wrestlers The War Machine Rhino and trademarked the name. Too f*ckin’ bad that I have been using this name for 6 years, have it tatted on my body and it is what my fans yell out when I’m fighting. If you know my personality then you know damn well I am not gonna let some faggot ass, FAKE wrestler steal MY name. SO 6 weeks ago I filed a change of name request and today I had court to make my name officially WAR MACHINE. lol. F*ckin’ funny right? Didn’t really wanna have to do it but I am sure as hell not lose MY nickname.”

– Former contestant on season six of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) and current UFC fighter, Jon Koppenhaver, has legally changed his real name to his nickname, “War Machine.” It’s apparently legit. TNA is the professional wrestling entity that has trademarked that name for one of its stars simple known as, “Rhino.” Koppenhaver, er, War Machine, must really, really, like his nickname.

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August 28th, 2008    

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176 Comments »

Comment by Punk Rock Scott
2008-08-28 09:01:50

Well, that’s one way to beat the system I guess.

Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 09:58:30

That is some crazy shit.

Damn, to be young, dumb and full of cum…

Comment by linx
2008-08-28 10:30:23

LOL, that is funny. In Brazil they wouldn’t allow anyone to register their names into something like that, hilarious!

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Comment by bradpittfightclub
2008-08-28 10:31:47

COO COO….COO COO…..COO COO

 
Comment by MMACrossfire
2008-08-28 11:30:07

linx - They’re just words. If such a law exists in Brazil, seems very silly to me. What if some arbitrary-sounding term in Portuguese means something substantive in another language? In the U.S., we have very many hereditary last names that descend from slaves who’d named themselves according to their former bondage (know a guy who’s last name is Locket, for example, and the meaning of his last name is as simple as it is obvious).

 
Comment by linx
2008-08-28 12:43:07

MMACrossfire, the law is against someone registering their names to such things as “war machine” in portuguese, not english. We have too many loyal football fans that used to name their kids after their favorite teams, this is when the new law was placed (and rightfully so IMO, can you imagine someone called cowboys or bulls). We also used to have weird rural ppl that used to name their kids after groceries (I’m not joking LOL). In any case, once someone registers their names in Brazil, the name is reviewed by a judge, and if the judge thinks the name is not allowed he’ll send it to a higher court. Only then will they be asked to choose a different name.

 
Comment by RedDog
2008-08-29 00:26:53

linx, which grocery would they name their child after? Parmalat? Dolce de leite? Sonhos??? rsrsrs

 
 
Comment by slaughter time
2008-08-28 11:35:05

Point break qote!!! LOVE IT!!!

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Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 11:57:32

;)

You got it!!!

 
 
 
Comment by deuce 4
2008-08-28 10:11:28

i’m not a big wrestling fan but i know that the wrestler rhino has had that nickname for longer than 6 years. i think koppenhaver probably heard it used for rhino when he was a teenager and liked and started using it. besides, has koppenhaver ever served in the military??? has he ever been on a battlefield??? has he ever seen REAL WAR?! until he has been there leave the war nicknames and grenade tattoos to someone who knows what they’re really all about!!! he’s a phony a** punk

Comment by wm133
2008-08-28 10:38:10

yea deuce he was at the citadel a military school for two years …. so he wasnt on the battlefield but he did make an attempt by going to the citadel which is a bad ass school, but he got the nickname from phil baroni

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Comment by KitsuneX
2008-08-28 10:44:39

no kidding. Rhino isn’t a pushover either. this is the guy that paid his dues in the OLD ECW, making peanuts wrestling in a bingo hall in philly getting put through tables, hit with chairs, cut with barb wire, etc. He’s a pretty nice guy and not some chump like war machine.

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Comment by naturalshadow
2008-08-28 19:58:24

I don’t care how many fake tables he has been thrown through, I am gonna give more respect to someone who fights in a cage for less than half of what the “wrestler” makes for getting smacked in the head with a chair.

 
Comment by kitsunex
2008-08-28 23:15:49

lol ahh the voice of ignorance

 
Comment by naturalshadow
2008-08-29 08:30:47

Maybe I am ignorant as to what is going on in wrestling today, after all I did stop watching it when I became an adult.

 
 
 
2008-08-28 11:03:13

lol,go back to the babalu thread from TWO DAYS AGO!! I posted this then. Man I’m good!

Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 11:41:05

I posted this too. I 4got in which thread. I remember it was response to like violentmike though. hahaha

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Comment by c-war
2008-08-28 12:14:30

Im guessing he’ll never be married.

Comment by shinbob
2008-08-29 00:02:31

hahaha!!! mr and mrs machine.

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Comment by TheNegation
2008-08-29 16:19:03

He ain’t gonna get married ‘coz this war boy is stupid. I really didn’t like this dude ever since his TUF days.

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Comment by santiago69us
2008-08-28 14:10:05

he looks like he is sitting on one!

 
Comment by Brian "Bisping-Hater"
2008-08-28 20:03:59

Can you say “Idiot”? I can.

 
Comment by THORAZINE
2008-08-28 23:09:11

That was kind of weak for the UFC to back down from a weak trademark. I know White has more serious things to deal with, but he pussed out on that one.

Comment by THORAZINE
2008-08-28 23:10:13

Also the wrestling federation should sue Jon not the UFC… right?

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Comment by Big E
2008-08-28 09:01:58

This guy has some serious mental issues; too bad he doesn’t have the talent to back the name :/

 
Comment by kimbo went to harvard
2008-08-28 09:03:59

this is too funny. the guy is crazy, but if he likes his nickname that much, i can’t blame him/

Comment by john
2008-08-28 09:22:41

not that big of a deal. He can always change it back when he is done fighting.

 
Comment by THORAZINE
2008-08-28 22:58:39

I agree guys’ I see it the same, no big deal and awfully funny… hope he’s getting his shit together.

 
 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:05:27

Woah.. Jon went to the extreme on this one..I undersatnd his fustration and all.. but to legally change his name to “WAR MACHINE”.. I want to see the faces of Airport security when they look at his passport.

If this guy has kids .. Lil’Wars running around…

Comment by john
2008-08-28 09:35:32

Phil: I am hearing that Tim Sylvia vs. Jerome LeBanner is being considered for Affliction 3 and they are also trying to sign Sergie Kharitonov which would be great because the winner of Barnett vs. Arlovski would get Fedor and the looser would get Sergie.

So Affliction 3 could feature:
Fedor vs. Barnett
Arlovski vs. Sergie
Sylvia vs. Lebanner

Comment by john
2008-08-28 09:36:16

shamrock has been talking about snapping Fergie’s leg lol

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Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:37:48

To be real… I’m not that excited for Affliction 2.. with Affliction 3 and Fedor’s return.. with some block buster type match ups.. hopefully they can try to match there first show.

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Comment by john
2008-08-28 11:14:36

Affliction 2 does not have the alure as the 1st show but it still odes have some quality match ups. Arlovski vs. Barnett is a Fight that i have ALWAYS wanted to see. Rogerio vs. Matsyseko is a fight I never even thought of but its very intruiging. This will be a hard fought fight and I am curious to see the fight between the “polish Hammer” and lauzon’s lil brother.

I just dont want to see the LIndland fight. I still think that the card could possibly improve before the show actually takes place. If not then they are just ASKING to loose money!

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 11:16:55

True MMA Story.

 
 
 
 
Comment by McArthur
2008-08-28 09:05:41

hopefully he makes as a fighter cause it fight be difficult to get a real job with a name like that on a resume…lol

 
Comment by Nick J
2008-08-28 09:06:02

It was the best nickname in the sport.

He’d better carry on fighting, can you imagine him applying for a job.

“… and the next applicant sir is er Mr War-Machine”

Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 09:09:48

WAY before he had it, it was name of a comic book character. Stark’s friend Jim something. Wonder if that’s where he got it from. God, why does my brain involuntarily save space for such useless drivel.

Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 09:10:56

Tony stark, that is, Iron Man. Jim became War Machine when Stark was incapacitated for a while.

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Comment by b.w.
2008-08-28 09:39:26

good comic book reference. hopefully marvel will sue the wrestler and not jon.lol!

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 09:55:50

Chef and BW-

James Rhodes is the name. War Machine is the other “Iron Man suit”.

Yes, I like comic books. Geek, I know. ;P

 
Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 10:07:15

Thanks for the info OJR. lol. It’s been a while since I read it. And hey, no shame in comic books, I’ve made a pretty penny off of mine in the past!!

 
Comment by linx
2008-08-28 10:33:19

no shame at all, anderson silva says he likes to collect them too, if the spider does it so can we!

 
Comment by santiago69us
2008-08-28 10:40:04

one thing i love about anderson silva….hes sucha freakin geek! lol and yet he is the baddest mofo in MMA right now….to be honest if we were in high school..id be picking on him and then not show up and a 10yr high school reunion.

 
Comment by linx
2008-08-28 10:46:08

LOL Santiago, but he’s been trainning since he was 9. He would still be able to kick our a$$es throught childhood!

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 10:54:19

LOL Santiago-

That’s why I took wrestling and boxing in High School! The jocks/popular kids wouldn’t mess with me even though I would read comic books at lunch w/ my geek bi-focals…

;P

 
Comment by b.w.
2008-08-28 10:58:15

graphic novels all the way. people dont realize how many movies today are based off of graphic novels ( basically acollection of comic book stories or just big a$$ comic book) 300, sin city, a history of violence, just to name a scant few.

 
Comment by linx
2008-08-28 10:59:47

I used to fight at lunch with my geek friends about what was better, sega genesis or super nintendo. There was nothing more dumb than that lol.

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 11:59:03

BW-
Agreed.

 
Comment by RiverHoror
2008-08-28 13:24:42

Linx - Super Nintendo all the way!!! except Mortal Kombat had no blood

 
Comment by linx
2008-08-28 13:58:51

SEGA! LOL.

 
Comment by Kdog
2008-08-28 20:24:09

Genesis does what ninten-dont

 
Comment by Justin
2008-12-06 18:16:32

omg i haven’t heard that quote in forever.

 
 
Comment by THORAZINE
2008-08-28 23:04:44

Very Cool info CD, with comic book knowledge like that we might think you’re from Geekville.

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Comment by JonnyBoy
2008-08-28 09:10:48

It could’ve been cool… Fast Asleep fits better though.

 
Comment by JonnyBoy
2008-08-28 09:16:43

No wait!!!

Mr. Sleepyhead, now that’s suitable!

Comment by Quesi
2008-08-28 10:00:36

After the Yoshida fight, he should change in to “The Snore Machine”.

Comment by JonnyBoy
2008-08-28 12:02:16

Hahaha that’s a good one.

Yeah Yoshida certainly plugged out the war machine.

If he think he could beat any as good as Yoshida he’s even dumber than I thought.

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Comment by john
2008-08-28 16:56:31

I would like to see War Machine vs. Matt or Mike Brown (I forget what his 1st name is

 
 
 
 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:18:50

Dead Bird in the Cereal Prank.. it’s F#%^Kd up..

http://www.jokeroo.com/funnyvideos/dead_bird_cereal_prank%20.html

Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:26:49

Don’t try to diss a dude with a mic..

http://www.jokeroo.com/funnyvideos/kevin_smith_owns_fan.html

Comment by linx
2008-08-28 10:36:33

‘I can’t hear you dude but I can see your man tits from here’ LMAO!

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Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 10:47:50

=P… that part was mad funny..lol… You know that dude felt like a moron.

 
 
 
 
Comment by The 5th Beatle
2008-08-28 09:23:24

What an idiot…..

 
Comment by McArthur
2008-08-28 09:26:12

best nick names imo are

The axe murderer
The Pitbull
The Prodigy
Daddy

Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:35:32

Best nicknames IMO…

The Russian Experiment/ Cyborg

The Prodigy

THe Polish Hammer

Axe Murderer

Shogun/ Ninja ( For being brothers and both fighter’s..)

Lil’evil

The California Kid

The Natural born Killer

IceMan

Comment by john
2008-08-28 09:38:46

add the Fireball kid (Gomi)

“Kid” Yamamoto

even though I dont like Sherk, the musckle shark is cool

Texas Crazy Horse

Via cavalho (werdum)

“THe Count”

Rampage is awesome nickname

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Comment by john
2008-08-28 09:39:02

stun gun is kool too!

 
Comment by b.w.
2008-08-28 09:41:11

what no ken-flo or j-lau. im shocked!

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:41:55

Word up.. I think we just covered the top MMA nicknames in the game today.

Stun Gun.. hopefully does his thing agaisnt Matt Brown.. he IMO can be a top5 fighter one day in the UFC.. he has all the tools this guy.. He’s from Korea.. with a ground game as if he was from Sao Paulo.

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 09:45:09

My favorite..

“The Irish Hand Gernade”

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:50:06

BNF: YES..yes..yes ” The Irish Hand Gernade ” is on the list.

 
Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 10:36:30

No Ravishing Red? The Athlete? Blueberry Muffin ( or whatever muffin that guy said)?

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 11:22:30

Maniacs: I have a TUF question??

Who out of the names below would win ESpy TUF Biggest loser award??

1. Noah

2. Gabe

3. Joe Scarola

4. ( TUF 5 Backyard scarp ).. I forget those dudes names..there on the list too.

5. Jeremy Stephens

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 11:46:43

It’s gotta be Scarola, right. With Gabe as a close second (colonic was classic).

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 11:56:30

My pick would be Scarola..that was bad.. Noah at least did some work in the house getting into the semi’s and what not.. till he needed to speak to his Girl of 6months.. cuz she taught he was cheating on her.. while in a house full of dudes ..for X amount of weeks…

Gabe.. oh Gabe.. he did it all to himself.. Gabe would be my 2nd runner up.

Jeremy.. ” The soon to be felon “.. if the story is true that he.. he did all that crazy shit.. he’s “7″.

 
Comment by john
2008-08-28 12:08:28

sounds right to me

 
Comment by just1fix
2008-08-28 14:08:07

The PINK POUNDER!!! LOL - how could that one not be on the list??? ;)

 
Comment by PW
2008-08-28 17:23:46

I would have nominated Danny Abbadi, but he at least made it through the season without getting kicked out of the house. And the dudes from the backyard fight were Marlon Sims, and I think the other one was named Noah too. And don’t forget that Monstah Lobstah also got kicked out for instigating that little fracas.

 
 
Comment by the_mexicutioner
2008-08-28 09:39:18

You forgot “The Boogeyman”

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Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:43:54

b.w. : J-lau.. sounds like Jennifer Lopez.. I’m a Florian fan.. but his last name sounds better Ken-Flo..so unfortunitly.. these names didn’t make the cut.

the ” Boogeyman ” is cool.

 
Comment by Toms Bombs
2008-08-28 09:52:00

Meyhem?

 
Comment by wm133
2008-08-28 10:24:51

mayhem is a bad ass name … as is jason miller …they mesh well

 
Comment by Shadyone33
2008-08-28 10:35:08

I also like The Truth…

 
Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 10:37:50

I think the Truth is one of the best! Why are you called that (to Vera)? his response, “Because the truth hurts.” Loved it.

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 11:44:44

You gotta love Vera. I can’t wait till he destroys Jardine and everyone loves him again. People have been hating lately.

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 12:25:09

BNF-

Agreed. I remember defending him in some threads like crazy.

Someone told me they would rather watch Goran than Vera.

Vera looked sluggish but he was in control of the fight.

Goran was getting his @ss handed to him vs. Wilson until that lucky punch.

I don’t think he will destroy Jardine but I do think he will come out with a solid decision win.

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 12:49:49

I just think Vera is due to KO someone and Jardine is not exactly known for is iron jaw. A highlight KO would pull everybody back into a Vera fan. I never left.

I don’t care for Goran. Wilson is one of my top 5 favorite fighters so he pissed me off. Wilson was working him, but gassed a little. The move down to 185 will be the best thing he has ever done. Now that Goran moved down too I would love to see a rematch. There would definatly be a different result.

 
Comment by mmamac
2008-08-28 13:43:27

CABBAGE is the best name ever. A newer better fighter should try re-using that name!

 
Comment by john
2008-08-28 16:58:06

I dunno BNF, I like Wilson as well butr Goran is bad ass and should be a MONSTER at middleweight! I think Wilson should stay as far away from that Bad ass Croation as possible!

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 19:46:10

You will see… Leites will beat him. Goran got beatdown by Wilson. He didn’t impress me.

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-29 07:19:42

BNF-
Agreed.

 
 
Comment by Jrandolph
2008-08-28 09:51:57

Where did the “Rush” come from in George “Rush” St Pierre?
Is that a nickname, or actually part of his name?

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Comment by Ro-J
2008-08-28 09:58:56

just a nick name and it came from his early days in TKO, I think.

 
Comment by john
2008-08-28 11:22:22

NOt in mma, but one of the best nicknames in Boxing was teh “Brockton Blockbuster”!

WE probably covered the best names let me think of a few more:

Cacharao (excuse my spelling I dont speak portugese)
Jacre
El NINO
Diabo Diaz
the predator

Now, Lets move on to the worst nicknames:
J-lau
Ken flow
worlds most dangerous man (what a load of bull lol)
The athlete
“Suga”
THe GOAT

anyone else got any terrible nicknames?

 
Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 11:25:48

The king of rock and rumble???????????

 
Comment by Jrandolph
2008-08-28 11:31:52

Yeah, Ken-Flow just sounds more like bad pronunciation.
“Suga” is really bad though. Almost Porn like.
Some of these names remind me of the super hero auditions from the movie “Mystery Men”.
“Blue Raja”, “The Shoveler”. Actually, The shoveler would be a good nam for the Wash Machine..er..I mean “War machine”.

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 11:40:38

John, how could you forget…

“The Huntington Beach Bad Boy”

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 12:01:09

BNF-

I don’t know if that was a bad one. It seemed to mesh well. Maybe it was too long?

 
Comment by BNF
2008-08-28 12:10:05

I actually like Tito and live in HB and I’m calling it a bad one. I guess calling youself a “Bad Boy” is kinda douchey, IMO. But, obviously, representing HB is ok with me.

 
Comment by john
2008-08-28 12:10:06

it was cool for Tank because he was the original. It was pathetic for tito to try and swaggerJack an already exsisting UFC legends nickname!

 
Comment by TKO
2008-08-28 12:40:25

Spider is a cool nick name it works for him too. The long limbs and all, and when he is attacking it looks like he’s got 8 limbs.

 
Comment by just1fix
2008-08-28 14:11:16

The Spider is a great name (especially since it fits Anderson so well as he’s so long and lean), but Da Sypda is a completely ridiculous nickname. Grove should be taken out behind the barn and shot for that one.

 
 
Comment by dia mette
2008-08-28 14:57:07

What about “the Heat” for Karo Thats a damn good one especially the way buffer emphasizes it

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Comment by teddy
2008-08-28 09:35:42

so when bruce buffer announces his name he will just say war machine?

Comment by McArthur
2008-08-28 10:16:33

lol…it’ll be

” and in this corner “War “War Machine” Machine”

or

War “John Koppenhaver” Machine

Comment by PW
2008-08-28 10:30:17

The War Machine formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver?

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Comment by Product
2008-08-28 11:37:56

i nearly shit my pants when i read that

 
Comment by kama kaze
2008-08-28 11:43:03

WAR WAR!!!!!! lol

 
 
 
 
Comment by getrawbc
2008-08-28 09:36:05

He showed some potentail against J-Rod, but showed his inexpierence against Yoshiyuki. He needs to worry about stepping up his game and not what his moniker is. Because another showing like the last one and they’ll call him “Stepping Stone Machine !”

 
Comment by Toad
2008-08-28 09:36:44

which name is better …..Scott “Hands of Steal” Smith or Sam “Hands of Stone” Stout. …..I always get them mixed up but personally i like Sam “Hands of Stone” stout.

Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 09:39:08

To me it’s the same getting hit by steal or stone.. both will hurt.

Comment by mmeh
2008-08-28 09:47:59

ahahah hands of steal what does he do punch the lunch money outta ya? personally i like hands of stone more than hands of steel, however i like hands of steal way more than both

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Comment by wm133
2008-08-28 10:35:40

welll i would have to say hands of stone is better bc i think stout would beat up on scott smith

 
 
 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 10:21:20

Actually, the great Panamanian boxer Roberto Duran was known as Hands of Stone.

Personally, IMO Sam has not KO’ed enough opponents in MMA to have that nickname.

He definitely has a chin made out of rock, though.

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 10:22:05

BTW-

I think its Steel, not Steal.

 
 
Comment by braveheart
2008-08-28 09:38:44

Yoshida destroyed The War Machine

 
Comment by "Mr. Nc-17"
2008-08-28 09:55:29

I legally changed my name to NC-17 as well. Thanks War Machine for helping my dream come true.

Wow.. this dude is odd.

Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 11:45:45

hahaha I thought it was a pretty smart way to beat the system. Suck it WWE!

 
 
Comment by Jrandolph
2008-08-28 09:56:15

So who has the coolest MMA name without a tag or nickname?
Quinton Jackson shure aint on the list.

 
Comment by MMA_MIND
2008-08-28 09:56:38

I always thought “No Love” was a good, and even though we are so used to it but “Ice Man” is pretty solid aswell.

Comment by JV
2008-08-28 10:57:38

The Sand Man

 
 
Comment by Jrandolph
2008-08-28 10:04:59

I don’t train or fight, so I’m not “in the know” when it comes to getting a nickname, but are’nt you supposed to earn a nickname (not claiming War Machine did’nt). You know when someone else starts caling you that and it sticks kindof thing. I’m thinking some of these guys have thier nickname picked out long beore they ever enter a gym.

Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 10:22:31

Truth.

Comment by WB
2008-08-28 10:48:24

I think Phil Baroni actually started calling him War Machine because he had all those tattoos because he was like a bio-tech major in college or something. I know he did train at the Lion’s Den. Kid is dumb. Who cares haha.

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Comment by chefdaddy
2008-08-28 10:41:51

lol. Yeah, that sounds right. I can picture them trying to sleep at night, staring at the ceiling, thinking,”what about……no no no…that’s not cool enough….Maybe….No….maybe this will catch on……”

Comment by Jrandolph
2008-08-28 11:25:29

True. I should start buying websites adresses with a bunch of cool nicknames, so I can resell them to idiots like “Wash Machine” when they start making some cash.

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Comment by wm133
2008-08-28 10:24:05

iyiy…..jon should be trying to get another fight in the ufc sch. for an upcoming ppv or fight night instead of worrying about this,

im digging BABALU as a nickname haha

 
Comment by ARodOfIron
2008-08-28 10:26:31

And here I thought Marvel Comics had it trademarked first as a name (see Iron Man).

 
Comment by IhitU.uHITfloor
2008-08-28 10:27:36

This guy is a total douche. He is from the town where I went to school and this guy always thought he was a bad ass picking on kids half his size. I love watching this dirt bag get his ass beat in the cage. You used to think you were something, and now you are just War “Jon” Machine, or just War Machine, or Jon”The douche machine” machine, or whatever the f**k you want to be called. Here is a lesson for you, quit worrying about your fricken name and start worrying about training. DOUCHE!!!!!

Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 10:50:10

If this is true… Post some stories, man. I can’t post for anyone else but I am very curious.

Comment by IhitU.uHITfloor
2008-08-28 11:08:42

I was working all the time when i went to high school, but i remember one time in junior high when i actually put him in his place. It was a rainy day and i noticed this steaming pile of poo shoving one of my female friends underneath the stream of water that was pouring off of the roof. So i approached him and he was like “back off this is none of your business or whatever” so i quickly grabbed his ass by his collar and shoved his ass right into the lockers and down onto the soaked ground. Needless to say I got some after that ;). Also needless to say that this mofo was on steroids for all of his high school career from what i have heard, i have no proof of this it is just hearsay, but i remember he always had a fucked up attitude.

Now with all this said i would like to note that nowadays he would tear me limb from limb but i did have my moment to shine back in the day.

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Comment by PhilQNY
2008-08-28 11:31:37

Good Story.

 
Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 12:03:46

Nice.

 
Comment by mmamac
2008-08-28 13:52:39

KO by collar shove into the lockers. I would count that as a win…nice job!

 
Comment by PW
2008-08-28 17:28:24

You got some in junior high??? Or by “some” do you mean a little making out with an under-the-sweater but over-the-bra feel?

 
Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 19:33:07

IhitU.uHITfloor-I have War Machine on my myspace. This article quote actually came from one his bulletins. War Machine said this ain’t true.:

ME: “Hey war. Is it true that a kid at your school pushed you on the ground into a puddle of water in the hall way when you were younger? A guy was claiming that you were pushing a girl under a leaking roof and then he did that. He said it on mmamania. com on a article that they had about you changing your name. Is it true?”

War Machine: LMAO! Hell no.

 
Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 19:37:35

Just in case It was confusing. I meant that he said what you said wasn’t true. Not the article.

 
Comment by Kdog
2008-08-28 20:31:58

So I guess you thought the response was gonna be “oh yeah! I did get beat down in highschool because I was being an ass to a girl.I remember that”– true or not, only an idiot would admit it. Sheesh.

 
Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-29 01:50:29

Notice how I didn’t say “OMG YOU ARE A LIAR! WAR MACHINE TOTALLY TOLD ME! YOU ARE A FRAUD!” I simply stated facts. The FACT that I asked him and the FACT that he said it wasn’t true. Don’t get so uptight.

 
Comment by IhitU.uHITfloor
2008-08-29 08:27:47

PW- Actually the girl was in my drama class and later that day when we had class she took me behind the curtains and gave me a low blow, and it wasnt the kind that Kongo dishes out
RyanHobbs- Just a quick question for you…Would you admit this if you were an uptight prick? By the way it is also a FACT that the FACT he told you was a LIE.
To be honest i really dont give two shits about what War”Jon”Machine says, he has always had no credibility with me.

 
 
 
 
Comment by Grembone
2008-08-28 10:29:55

I couldn’t help thinking how funny that War Machine tattoo will look when he 60 or 70 yrs old. He should change it to Love Machine. lol

 
Comment by Scott
2008-08-28 10:39:43

I was wondering why they didn’t use his nickname at UFC 84. Finally, some closure!

Comment by medecine balls
2008-08-28 15:54:49

thank the lord! i can sleep again!

 
 
Comment by SnackMachine
2008-08-28 10:47:32

This guy just needs to go away. I really hope he follows through with moving to the Phillipines like he said.

1.Whats going to happen when his career is done?
2.Couldn’t he have just made his middle name War Machine?
3.I think Marvel comics beats him and Rhino with the War Machine name, circa 1979.
4.He has fans?
5.Shouldn’t he worry about not losing a fight instead of his nickname?

Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 12:04:14

Valid questions.

 
Comment by kitsunex
2008-08-28 23:20:47

WWE is probably already paying royalties to marvel, like they did back in the day for the rights to use “Hulk” in Hulk Hogan

 
 
Comment by kama kaze
2008-08-28 10:51:56

if dude wants to call himself War Machine, go ahead and let him. thats funny as fock. lol. i can just hear the host calling his table at a fancy restaurant… “uhhhh.. reservation for Mr. Machine” HAHA!

Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 11:47:24

What if he gets in trouble? They call out his name in the courtroom. War Machine vs. State of California.

Comment by kama kaze
2008-08-28 13:09:53

ooOOoo nice 1 lol. and when he has kids he’s going to spawn little baby Machine prototypes.

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Comment by mmamac
2008-08-28 13:54:58

Nano-machines

 
 
 
 
Comment by DSmith
2008-08-28 10:52:10

What a complete retard. Remember when Matt Serra was a t loss for words trying to describe him. Matt Serra couldn’t find words!!!! Somebody give this kid a hug before he loses the rest of his brain cells.

 
Comment by RandomTask
2008-08-28 10:52:26

He’s mentally ill

 
Comment by david arthur
2008-08-28 10:53:29

its a rubbish nickname anyway

 
Comment by thetuf75
2008-08-28 11:20:15

ha- pretty amazing- love this story.

 
Comment by the still operator
2008-08-28 11:42:47

craziness. babalu got his from his fav gum.

 
Comment by clayton
2008-08-28 11:50:26

When I see people like War Machine on the street I say to my girlfriend “this, Michelle, is why democracy doesn’t always work.”

Comment by OJR
2008-08-28 12:05:22

Hahahahahaha !!!!

 
 
Comment by bDavid
2008-08-28 11:58:34

fag this, faggot ass that ! ( me thinks he doth protest too much ) is he not the guy who cried on spike after he lost because he had no one to go home to … signed DTGG (dave the gay guy) PS @ JRandolph i heard GSP say his nickname is Rush as he likes to rush in and get the job done quick )

 
Comment by GladI'mNotYou
2008-08-28 12:18:24

Dear War Machine,

Changing your name doesn’t make you any less of a punk or queer-looking SOB or make you any more of a wannabe tough-ass who can’t hack it in the UFC.

Regards,
I don’t need a nickname to be tough

Comment by john
2008-08-28 16:19:09

All you need to be tough is your computer! LMAO!!!!

 
 
Comment by Heatwaves
2008-08-28 12:56:16

I doubt he got rid of the “Jon Koppenhaver” part of his name. By changing his name, it’s more likely that his added “War Machine” as his middle name, i.e. Jon War Machine Koppenhaver.

Comment by JonnyBoy
2008-08-28 14:54:56

If he just added War Machine as his middle name, people will still say Jon Koppenhaver without saying War Machine in between…

This goof won’t stay with the UFC much longer.

Comment by Heatwaves
2008-08-28 18:12:52

Not true. The UFC would introduce him as the did previously — Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver. The UFC loves selling the fighters nicknames. They only previously left it out before because of the legal issue.

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Comment by FukStyck
2008-08-28 13:19:58

Rhino is a homo.

 
Comment by Sean_M
2008-08-28 14:29:43

Now he joins the ranks of the Ultimate Warrior who had his name changed to “Warrior” for trademark issues.

Rejoice, War Machine! You will now be in the boat of insanity that “Warrior” and “War Machine” built.

 
Comment by Truth Hurts
2008-08-28 15:03:33

Jon Koppenhaver needs to be bludgeoned to a bloddy pulp and left in the gutter. F**K this guy

Comment by RyanHobbs
2008-08-28 19:38:46

Who is Jon Koppenhaver? This article is about a man named War Machine.

 
 
Comment by Jared
2008-08-28 15:23:20

Hate to break it to you Kopenhaver but rhino’s had that name longer than you’v had

 
Comment by medecine balls
2008-08-28 15:58:40

this kids an absolute nutjob

 
Comment by joe
2008-08-28 19:40:23

f@&*ing idiot

 
Comment by DrHarry
2008-08-28 21:08:21

Now that his real name is War Machine, he could trade mark Jon Koppenhaver as his nickname. Therefore he can still be called Jon Koppenhaver War Machine or vice versa.

 
Comment by Danny
2008-08-28 21:15:11

WOW!! What a f-ing idiot!! Good luck getting a girl when she finds out you legally changed your name to “War Machine”. What a loser.

 
Comment by ognitinoc
2008-08-29 14:57:13

And here I thought he was just an iron man fan…

 
Comment by Jadix
2008-09-12 13:44:24

Marvel has War Machine as a charicter maybe they should sue TNA!

 
Comment by War
2008-09-12 22:45:24

Nice loser comments about Even Tanner War Queen. I hope you get paralyzed in your next fight, if any org will even accept you.

D-Bag!

 
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