By Jesse Holland
Special to UFCmania
Episode 4 starts out with highlights of last week’s fight and after a few voiceovers it’s pretty clear the theme thus far is how Team Penn is dreadful and Team Pulver can do no wrong.
BJ remains optimistic about his team’s future despite being 0-3 and I almost believe him until he hits us with “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over”. If the best you can do to summarize your plan of attack is a Yogi Berra cliché from 1973 then you’re basically admitting the ship is taking on water and you’re not handing out any lifejackets.
It’s training day for Team Pulver and Wayne Weems is identified as the weakest link. The editors go out of their way to make him look like he’s training for the Special Olympics. I half-expected him to get dropped off at the training center in a short yellow bus.
Jens expresses his disdain for the faltering Weems and even exclaims “I’m not here to wash his butt!” I probably wouldn’t have taken that literally had I not been witness to a colonic in last week’s episode.
We shoot over to a training session for Team Penn and the first shot is of BJ lying on the mat talking to Gabe. Not that BJ has ever been accused of being lazy but you know what they say about a picture and a thousand words.
Gabe decides he’s going to man-up and call out Wayne Weems. BJ fondles himself like a curious schoolboy and laughs at the idea. The rest of Team Penn gets wind of it and accuses Gabe of taking the low road.
Emerson is particularly critical which surprises me considering he just got done getting his ass whooped. He does have a point since Gabe said he would fight anybody and then calls out Weems in a private meeting with BJ.
Still, Emerson doesn’t have the right to criticize an active fighter (even Gabe) for hurting the team when he couldn’t even get past his first fight. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.
While I’m on the topic of people who should think before they speak, Marlon thinks it’s open-mic night and goes into a dark and sordid tale of life on the street. He rattles off a resume that includes over three hundred street fights and a match that pitted him against five opponents (which he claims to have won).
Not to be outdone in the exaggeration department, Gabe steps up and calls Marlon a liar. He also compares him to Steven Seagal and accuses him of drinking the blood of his opponents and fighting blindfolded. As funny as it sounded Marlon made no effort to deny it.
Back at Team Pulver Brandon wants to fight next but is extremely vocal about his sore foot. For a guy who calls himself “The Murderer” he sure does a lot of complaining.
Manny lets it be known the sore foot is a red herring for too much body fat. Jens tells Brandon to get within five pounds on pick day and he can fight.
One rubber suit and a stationary bike later, Brandon hits his mark. He proceeds to call out Andy Wang and then makes it seem like we should have seen it coming. Considering Team Pulver’s toy belt has gotten more airtime than Andy, he should be grateful we even recognize him at all.
Having said that, Andy is gracious enough to give us a quick history on his MMA background and how he fights for family, honor and his Asian-American heritage. You gotta love the old-school mentality.
On the other hand we also learn that despite his skills Andy has been known to fight with reckless abandon. That information comes courtesy of Gabe, who was cornering Andy in his last fight. What was that about reckless abandon? I’ll say one thing: Gabe sure gets around.
It’s time for the weigh-ins and we have the first KO of the evening as Brandon drops 25% of the viewers by showing up in a stripper’s thong. Why Brandon, why? Andy poses with a pair of nunchakus. He’s got style I’ll give him that.
Team Pulver returns to the gym and as they walk in a few of the guys are surprised to find Matt Hughes mopping the floor. I hate to recycle old jokes but if you look up “foreshadowing” in the dictionary you would see a picture of…oh nevermind.
Matt calls Jens a brother and wants to make a bet that Team Penn hasn’t done a whole lot of training for the day. Heck I’m no gambler but I’d take that bet myself. Surprisingly we only get about a minute of Hughes before the segment ends. I guess for most people a minute of Matt Hughes is more than enough.
It’s the night before the fight and out of nowhere the producers sneak in the slow piano music. Sure enough we cut to Andy getting sentimental over a family photo and then Brandon playing with one of his kid’s toys (that is eerily reminiscent of a rubber mouse that my cat used to play with – I guess it’s true what they say about a fighter’s salary).
Andy goes to the well one too many times and blurts out “Live like a man, die like a man, then you become a man”. BJ quotes Yogi Berra. Andy actually sounds like him.
We finally get to the fight but I’m still disturbed by the preceding commercial for Next. It’s a weird premonition movie starring Nicholas Cage. What bothered me is that he’s been balding since 1989 yet he’s trying to sport that long and creepy old-man hair – the kind guys over 40 grow to look hip. He looks a little like Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Round one is underway and Andy eats a punch and crumples right out of the gate. He recovers but the difference (and disadvantage) in reach becomes painfully obvious. Brandon looks comfortable on his feet and continues to circle and strike. Andy tries to reach in but eats a few shots every time.
The round starts winding down and despite BJ screaming for a single leg takedown Andy is content to just stand and strike. It costs him a round and a mouthpiece. Round one is all Brandon.
Round two picks up right where round one left off. Brandon looks tired but is still connecting. BJ is absolutely SCREAMING at Andy to shoot. Andy is either too scared or too stubborn to try and continues to get tagged.
The end is near. Slow and sluggish, Andy couldn’t get any stiffer if he was in a staring contest with Medusa. He manages to get Brandon to the fence on two occasions but looks lost and cannot capitalize. Round two for Brandon who wins by unanimous decision.
My first question at the end of the fight was how someone like Andy gets a black belt in Jiu-Jitsu and does not shoot the entire fight. After that performance I would be very interested to know where he got his belt and who it was under (UFC.com does not say).
Brandon looked good striking but it was hard to evaluate him because he was not tested at all. He was never on the ground and spent the entire fight picking Andy apart. I guess we’ll have to wait and see what his next fight is like to really know.
Afterwards Andy talks about how he’s proven that he’s a warrior and that no one can look down on his performance. Maybe he was punch-drunk or thinking about a different fight. BJ doesn’t share the sentiment and pretty much dumps all over Andy’s failure to listen.
Andy did concede that he was stubborn and would have to atone for his loss. I don’t think a trip to Israel on Yom Kippur could atone for that showing. It’s one thing to be stubborn but Andy just flat-out ignored his team.
He then starts crying and believe me when I tell you the breakdown Forrest Griffin had after losing to Keith Jardine seems like a mere whimper when compared to the performance Andy just turned in. I’m a firm believer that there’s no shame in crying but Andy really put that theory to the test in this episode.
Stay tuned next week as Noah gets owned by Tony DeSouza and Corey and Gabe finally square off – assuming Gabe can drop 22 pounds by fight night. I’m not sure if he makes it but they did fade out with a shot of Gabe unconscious on the floor of the sauna. See you then!
April 27th, 2007
36 Comments »
We were promised the best season ever and with 4 episodes in I disagree. Half of the airtime has went to guys that are crying or just bitching and moaning about things. So far when this season is over there are very few guys I think I would want to see again.
First things first… Andy Wang must be trippin off shrooms. His overhand right is more of a blind, swinging for the fences, overhand haymaker. After his pathetic fight in which he did nothin and loses, he cries like a pre-pubescent (spelling) schoolgirl, and then he has the balls to say that nobody will see him as a loser. Haha it was funny to watch to say the least.
Second… Gabe is a total pussy. Talking shit constantly since day one… and then he calls out the weakest guy on the on the Pulver team. And the clips it showed of him training during next weeks episode looked pathetic to say the least
These guys are worse than the girls on America’s Next Top Model, they just bitch and complain about everything.
I think from now on I’m just going to watch the last 15 mins of the show.
Well, the only real good thing out of this show was they showed more training, No shitting scenes, and only one thong (I cannot believe I said that like it was a good thing).
As for the fight, I was not impressed at all. Andy is the dumbest fighter I have seen yet, mind you I have not watched WWE. Brandon looked good, but my 3 year old could have beat Andy, and honestly he looked like he would be schooled by Nate (comparing fights of course.
As for Emerson mouthing Gabe, it was a nice change from hearing Gabe talk shit again. I swear Gabe reminds me of guy who says I will whoop anyones ass, and then says “Its not even worth it man”.
These guys need to get there stuff together, and go back to season one. I enjoyed the tests of skills. My idea of a good setup would be the teams competing in tests to gain fight control.
Later
Chris Valentine
yeah andys ASS.hes a black belt inbjj and he still didn’t go for the take down after he didn’t listen to his corner i knew he woud lose but can’t wait to see to tal jones fight next week
andy was a disappointment. it seems more and more, team penn is a bunch of kids whining “oooo i wanna be on bj’s team oooohh!”.
andy wang, indeed cried like a little girl.
i was rooting for him but it became clear there’s a big disconnect between the image that he has in mind what he’s capable of doing. he could’ve a better chance if he had listened to his coach. he blew it.
WTF was up with Andy? A BLACK belt in BJJ and he does an entire fight standing? He must have got his black belt from a box of cracker jacks!He totaly dised his coach/corner…WTF was up with that??? That dude has ZERO reasons for being in the UFC.Good Bye!!!
lets talk about all of the damn commercials! is it me or are there more commercials every damn week. come on dana, TUF has at least 20 minutes of them.
the episode was okay. it just seems like everyone on bj penn’s team that has fought so far is garbage. i do think gabe will shock some people next week, he may not win but he will do well. remember he fought in the ufc, either ufc 53 or 54 or something like that. he got his ass whooped by the coked out melvin guillard, but at least they thought he was good enough to be in there.
corey hill better back all of that growling up!
Even Dana ripped this guy for being a tool bag, but yet he showed ‘warrior spirit?’ Whomever put these asian proverbs in this kids head should be beat. On the same side, Gabe continues to look like a classic DB, half the fighters show an IQ sup 70… Melendez showed good standup though, but really lacked the ability to finish the fight.
Maybe they should install a TV at the house, here’s the catch. The only channels it has are WE, Lifetime, and constant reruns of The View and Oprah. Oh, wait….Team Penn would like it too much. Bad idea.
What was it that made season one so good?
Forrest was funny, swick, stephan,Kenny and Quarry were the cool headed guys, Leben was the only “trouble maker” and the only one that cried, Koscheck was the only inestegator, Diego was the only weird one, Sam Hoger and Strange Brew were the only ones picked on…..Lodune was the only one wearing man panties, and he got Koed in his first fight…….these guys are all “wild and crazy” and immature….the only one that seems to have a head on his shoulders in Joe Lauzon……
[quote post=”1950″]It’s training day for Team Pulver and Wayne Weems is identified as the weakest link. The editors go out of their way to make him look like he’s training for the Special Olympics. I half-expect him to get dropped off at the training center in a short yellow bus.[/quote]
Ha! I thought the same thing. That speedbag clip was priceless.
[quote post=”1950″]What was it that made season one so good?[/quote]
Season 1 had two coaches who gave a crap and fighters who actually wanted to be in the UFC. I think at least half of these candy asses are on for TV time, and that might be a low estimate. They’re like those gold-digging skanks who go on The Bachelor and Flava of Love and other shows of that ilk to try to become professional C-list celebrities and maybe even do something wacky enough to get spun off into their own show, like that I Love New York crap on VH1.
I wish I had a dollar for every time BJ yelled “take em down”. Not one shoot, what an idiot! BJ should have climbed into the ring himself and kicked Andy’s ass.
everything i’ve heard/read about Andy says he’s a blackbelt in jiu jitsu, not brazilian jiu jitsu. not to rag on other martial arts, but if traditional jiu jitsu is anything like other japanese/korean martial arts in the united states, he most likely trained kata for 2 or 3 years and paid his gym’s membership fees and got a new belt every couple of months.
either way, a warrior he was not, but at least he didn’t ‘die with an arrow in his back’… he went head first into a whole quiver-full
yeah renzo, i do believe that traditional jits does focus more on take downs like Judo….so im sure he had some kind of takedown abilty in his arsenol, whether hes a legit blackbelt or not….it doesnt make sense either way……then again, Werdum didnt try taking arlovski down, but atleast he sometimes fell to his back to try to lure AA in…from the sound of it, andy didnt even do that much
[quote comment=”45653″]I wish I had a dollar for every time BJ yelled “take em down”. Not one shoot, what an idiot! BJ should have climbed into the ring himself and kicked Andy’s ass.[/quote]
What would possess someone to work their ass off (I’m assuming) to get a BJJ black belt, but never put it to good use??? That’s like becoming an expert marksman but choosing to pistol whip everyone.
Bj is not showing me anything to make me a fan. He needs to push those guys like they have never seen before… It’s not like it costs him anything. With the training regime I see from him I can’t see him ever being the champion again.
[quote comment=”45514″]We were promised the best season ever and with 4 episodes in I disagree. Half of the airtime has went to guys that are crying or just bitching and moaning about things. So far when this season is over there are very few guys I think I would want to see again.[/quote]
took the words right out of my mouth, I’m not impressed. What the hell is up with penns team?, man that guy picked a bunch of losers ( so far ). I’m predicting ( can’t remember his name but the guy who ko’ed jens ) will be penns saving grace, hope he fights corey hill.
[quote comment=”45674″][quote comment=”45514″]We were promised the best season ever and with 4 episodes in I disagree. Half of the airtime has went to guys that are crying or just bitching and moaning about things. So far when this season is over there are very few guys I think I would want to see again.[/quote]
took the words right out of my mouth, I’m not impressed. What the hell is up with penns team?, man that guy picked a bunch of losers ( so far ). I’m predicting ( can’t remember his name but the guy who ko’ed jens ) will be penns saving grace, hope he fights corey hill.[/quote]
Joe Lauzon is the guy that you’re talking about, and yea, something tells me that he’s going to do big things on the show.
Thanks noel, thought it was something like that but wasn’t sure, wang is an obvious loser but I also thing the guy who claims he street fought 300 guys or something like that is a f**king freak and a complete liar. I would laugh my ass off if he gets ko’ed in his first fight.
I hate Gabe, i hate wang, i hate monsta, I like emmerson now bc he called out gabe, i hate the dude that thinks hes steven segal. I like team pulvers team.. Gabe is a huge bitch and i have a funny feeling that there will be no fight next week bc he wont make weight or like faint, for more tv time, for trying to loose the weight. Wang ! who cries like that. i just dont get it, i kno its an emotional sport but come on now, he is no warrior, hes stubbourn and ignorant and bagged his team. its ridiculous.. i dont like this season one bit
I just saw the fight and I thought Wang was garbage. Penn’s whole team is garbage. he should of never opened his mouth about who wanted nothing to do with Pulver. He should of picked smart.
Get these girls off this show!! I saw less crying at recess when I was 7… Dana is really shooting himself in the foot if he thinks this show will last with these cry babies representing his industry. I could pick better fighters out of the homeless here in Milwaukee!! …. and we would not have to have been a witness to a colonic…totally wrong to air that!! and the THONGS!! Come on people…How much can anyone stomach!!
Great article man… The Medusa line and the way you ended the article had me laughing for a while
listen to your coach man, the dude knows what he’s talking about, a few tears is one thing, but crying like a bitch is another…
Andy is the worst fighter ever to stink up the TUF gym.
It was like me playfighting with a ticked off little brother:
No reach
No skill
No brains
I could go to the local bar and find 3 guys who could have fought that fight and kicked Andy’s ass (me included).
It was pathetic! Dana should start a wall of shame and post all those delusional and shameful “fighters”.
“I am a warrior” Andy says, Andy is the type of guy you put at the front of the charge so that when his cap gets blown off you can show the other troops the consequences of being stupid.
That guy has some redemption to do.
Forrest
What the hell was that shit in teh corners of andy’s mouth?!?! Wipe that shit off man. I didn’t even hear a word he said I was so grossed out. Hate to see what vile stuff fly’s out of his mouth while he’s fighting.
[quote comment=”45746″]What the hell was that shit in teh corners of andy’s mouth?!?! Wipe that shit off man. I didn’t even hear a word he said I was so grossed out. Hate to see what vile stuff fly’s out of his mouth while he’s fighting.[/quote]
hahaha, i saw that shit too, fucking gross
6 or 7 out of the 8 guys on team pulver will move on. corey will bts out of gabe and hopefully shut him up. marlon will fight matt and i see that fight going either way. only lauzon will for sure make it to the next round. i have lauzon, corey, nate, and manny in the semis.
Lets all give Andy some support:
http://www.taiwanbjj.org/forum/viewtopic.php?id=794
bj’s three best fighters haven’t fought yet, joe lauzon, wiman, and his #1 pick maynard, and after reudiger loses to hill team pulver won’t have anyone good enough left to beat bj’s top three guys, so jens is gonna win round1 5 to 3, but round 2 is when the real fights begin…
Thes guys are a bunch of posers. The guy who is gonna rain down some serious pain is Gray Maynard. Saw him wrestle at MSU and he is a mean SOB.
[quote comment=”45859″]Lets all give Andy some support:
http://www.taiwanbjj.org/forum/viewtopic.php?id=794/quote
I just read the comments from this forum and all I can say is OMFG.
If u want to insult Andy dirrectly just go to taiwanbjj.org he writes in the forums there. I started but am probably gonna get banned soon. So who’s spot in the show did andy waste anyway?